Usually, when you don't see any new post for a long period of time, it means that something super long and whiny is coming up.
But not this time.
Ok, I admit it, I need a relationship. I used to think that people get attached because society dictates so or to have an emotional anchor (the twisted ideas I have), but now I'm beginning to realise that this desire to pair up is something of an innate biological function.
And I'm not looking for reassurances here.
I'm starting my internship next week. But I shall not talk about it because we all know what trouble blogging about work can get you into. Just read the papers. Anyway, the job scope isn't all that I hoped it would be but then I do get a notebook to hog around. And for a minute there I thought they were talking about the paper kind. I haven't told them I'm going to phuket on a friday yet.
I think that I'm a man/boy pretty much driven by my fears. The fear of getting left behind or "losing out" to other people led me to ask for an internship. The fear of not living up to my own perception of what a successful person is about is one major factor of my life. I'm afraid of handling sickness and death around me, but there's nowhere to run to.
I'm a horrible person.
4.25.2005
4.23.2005
Just went for a catch up dinner with the army guys. Everyone's been very busy. They are all either doing a super slack well paying starhub job, data entry, waitering, door to door marketing: "I want to know what rejection feels like", or self employed. I was rather put on the spot when people tell me to justify my slacking for the past few weeks. Surprisingly I could come up with lengthy explanations: "I did a lot of things!" to counter all the you've-been-sitting-on-your-chair-getting-high-on-marijuana accusations.
I find that the problem with such gatherings is that once you start reminiscing, you will go on and on about it. Then there will be the inevitable spot-on impersonations and jokes that have been cracked more than a few times. Of course I still find the jokes funny, but I'm no good at talking about the past.
On Friday, I reached a new level, the previous level being resorting to play yahoo games at night. I went to the jurong library to "study" with Waiyong. I brought along the cambridge prep questions for engineers and attempted to revise on physics and math. But then I forgot even the simplest integration, which explains the pile of notes spread on the ground.
But hey, now I kind of know how to do partial integration.
I've stopped watching the o.c. (the o.c. is o.ver.) but then the cast for november's season 3 looks promising, with demi moore as possibly summer's step mom or birth mom.
SUGGEST TSHIRT SLOGANS! I'm terribly uncreative and unoriginal so spare me your creative juices.
I find that the problem with such gatherings is that once you start reminiscing, you will go on and on about it. Then there will be the inevitable spot-on impersonations and jokes that have been cracked more than a few times. Of course I still find the jokes funny, but I'm no good at talking about the past.
On Friday, I reached a new level, the previous level being resorting to play yahoo games at night. I went to the jurong library to "study" with Waiyong. I brought along the cambridge prep questions for engineers and attempted to revise on physics and math. But then I forgot even the simplest integration, which explains the pile of notes spread on the ground.
But hey, now I kind of know how to do partial integration.
I've stopped watching the o.c. (the o.c. is o.ver.) but then the cast for november's season 3 looks promising, with demi moore as possibly summer's step mom or birth mom.
SUGGEST TSHIRT SLOGANS! I'm terribly uncreative and unoriginal so spare me your creative juices.
4.19.2005
'Habemus papam!'
1238 It's always cool to witness history in the making. The television is on, the new pope has been elected and millions of people are waiting for him to arrive. Zhenjin said that he's in the crying room now because it's supposed to be "damn emotional". I can't wait for him to come out and bless the crowd.
me: i bet it's an italian
zj: i hope it's the black
so controversial
so exciting!
1240 The cardinal finally comes out! But he's speaking alot of latin, the crowd is going crazy with every sentence, it's joseph ratzinger from germany! The commentator says he is highly conservative.
1250 I see the new pope Benedict the 16th! The crowd is going wild, there's no translation so i don't really get what he's saying. He looks quite sprightly for his age.
me: he's against gay marriage?
zj: yah
haha
too bad to the homos
0104 The bells are still ringing. The pope leaves the balcony, some people are marching on St Peter's square. Break time!
zj: i am expecting another one within 10 years
me: is that blasphemy?
Things to do:
Find a way to deal with those pesky mosquitoes in my room. They never die.
Paint the wine rack and hope that the paint crackles.
Cut out Bai Ling's picture to make 'BAI LING IS MY BIATCH" tshirt.
Exercise every other day.
Do the cornell forms.
Make people go out with me.
Figure out how the government has come up with such an asceptic acronym as "IR" to describe a mega resort.
1238 It's always cool to witness history in the making. The television is on, the new pope has been elected and millions of people are waiting for him to arrive. Zhenjin said that he's in the crying room now because it's supposed to be "damn emotional". I can't wait for him to come out and bless the crowd.
me: i bet it's an italian
zj: i hope it's the black
so controversial
so exciting!
1240 The cardinal finally comes out! But he's speaking alot of latin, the crowd is going crazy with every sentence, it's joseph ratzinger from germany! The commentator says he is highly conservative.
1250 I see the new pope Benedict the 16th! The crowd is going wild, there's no translation so i don't really get what he's saying. He looks quite sprightly for his age.
me: he's against gay marriage?
zj: yah
haha
too bad to the homos
0104 The bells are still ringing. The pope leaves the balcony, some people are marching on St Peter's square. Break time!
zj: i am expecting another one within 10 years
me: is that blasphemy?
Things to do:
Find a way to deal with those pesky mosquitoes in my room. They never die.
Paint the wine rack and hope that the paint crackles.
Cut out Bai Ling's picture to make 'BAI LING IS MY BIATCH" tshirt.
Exercise every other day.
Do the cornell forms.
Figure out how the government has come up with such an asceptic acronym as "IR" to describe a mega resort.
4.16.2005
I am so so disturbed after watching the poor animals being skinned alive in that anti fur video. It feels like I'm going to puke and cry at the same time. It beats looking at the picture of the remains of a man who jumped a building and then having to eat lunch.
Weekends are more interesting now that I get to be the family chauffeur. But I don't know what's wrong with the seat; on saturday, my thigh was on the verge of cramping. I also wish it would stop raining. Tennis on two separate days was cancelled because of that.
Weekends are more interesting now that I get to be the family chauffeur. But I don't know what's wrong with the seat; on saturday, my thigh was on the verge of cramping. I also wish it would stop raining. Tennis on two separate days was cancelled because of that.
4.13.2005
the more tags the more popular i feel! haha. write in the comments part too.
->xy, i didn't read angels and demons ok. admit it, you were blur. how else did you get the nickname dory? hah.
->karen, what china? i love the whole church conspiracy idea. wanna read angels and demons now.
->mel, what's wrong with jewel? i was young and impressionable. i like ryan adams larh, i just haven't been listening to him much. you don't hear from him and then he comes up with 3cds in a row.
->kim, no they once took a few years to come up with a name and only because they were locked in the chapel with only bread and water.
->xy, i didn't read angels and demons ok. admit it, you were blur. how else did you get the nickname dory? hah.
->karen, what china? i love the whole church conspiracy idea. wanna read angels and demons now.
->mel, what's wrong with jewel? i was young and impressionable. i like ryan adams larh, i just haven't been listening to him much. you don't hear from him and then he comes up with 3cds in a row.
->kim, no they once took a few years to come up with a name and only because they were locked in the chapel with only bread and water.
4.12.2005
Panic session: I'm feeling the need to get a job again and I have to settle the visa and housing soon.
Why is the sun always hiding when i go to the pool? I swam 40 laps yesterday. Wanted to do 50 but it started to rain heavily on the 38th. I'm figuring how to ever swim 100 laps without getting bored or too tired. I've also been memorising some eason chan cantonese songs. I borrowed a couple of dvds: the office, twin peaks, the spanish apartment, schindler's list and lock stock. I borrowed alex garland's the tesseract and nick cave's and the ass saw the angel. Millie, first few pages very gothic already. But i'm scared of not finishing the shows and the books on time.
I've always wanted to do my own 20 favorite albums of all time in the tradition of nick hornby. But I didn't want to make it sound like boring technical stuff or worse, try to describe the music. So now the list comes with a little anecdote, say, what I was doing at the time I was heavily listening to the cd and the requisite killer lyrics. And no, zhenjin, mariah carey is not in the top 10.
20 oh, inverted world/ chutes too narrow THE SHINS
I think the shins are the catchiest band in the world. In a better world, millions of fans will scream for them like they do for U2.
19 yankee hotel foxtrot WILCO
Was one of those cds I would rush out to buy once it was released. I bought so many cds from borders. I wish bit torrent had come out earlier.
18 electric honey LUSCIOUS JACKSON
In secondary school when we were all too poor to buy many cds, tianyu and I did a cd exchange for our birthdays. I requested for luscious jackson while he wanted whitney houston. I wanted it because 8days described them as 'sexy spice mamas'. That started my buying of cds based on rave reviews and without sampling any of the songs beforehand.
17 stories from the city, stories from the sea PJ HARVEY
It's a new york city album.. it kinds of puts you in the street with all the traffic rushing past and the neon lights of times square flashing, like on the cover.
16 blue JONI MITCHELL
'a case of you' may well be the most perfect love song ever written.
15 pieces of you JEWEL
Of course, it now sounds like precocious poetry. But in sec 1, savage garden and celine dion were ruling the airwaves. And this was like such a breath of fresh air. Ya jack, I still haven't passed you the 2nd album.
14 the bends RADIOHEAD
Strangely, I only bought the cd two years back, but I've been listening to the songs for the longest time. I think this is still the blueprint for a good brit rock album.
13 dear ella DEE DEE BRIDGEWATER
This is a tribute to the great ella fitzgerald and she brings a new flavour to the old songs. She is most formidable on 'stairway to the stars', in which at the end, she sustains a note while the orchestra climaxes behind her, before kicking in the vibrato. Breathtaking.
12 girls can tell/ kill the moonlight SPOON
In a better world, they too would be living like rock stars and selling out stadium shows all over.
11 the miseducation of LAURYN HILL
There are so many crap r&b/rap albums out there. This is not one of them. I hope she has recovered from her crazy phase and give us that sophomore album.
10 tanto tempo BEBEL GILBERTO
I think this is really good mugging music- soothing unobtrusive and in a foreign language.
09 exile in guyville LIZ PHAIR
And the license said you had to stick around until I was dead
But if you're tired of looking at my face, I guess I already am
Way back before she did 'why can't I' and became a total avril wannabe, she actually had smart songs with smart hooks about falling out of love.
08 pinkerton/ the green album WEEZER
I asked you to go to the Green Day concert
You said you never heard of them
-How cool is that?-
Theodore burned them for me.. was frequently in the discman during ns because I needed loud guitars to cheer myself up.
07 bachelor no.2 or the last remains of the dodo AIMEE MANN
Critics at their worst could never criticize
the way that you do
no, there's no one else, I find,
to undermine or dash a hope
quite like you
and you do it so casually, too
She's the master of the 4 minute pop song. Always wise, articulate and resigned. You may know her as the one who did all the songs in magnolia. p.t. anderson says it best, "She writes lines that are so simple and direct, you are convinced that you have either A) heard it before, B) said it before, or even C) thought of it before (but never wrote it down.)"
06 version 2.0 GARBAGE
If we sleep together
Will you like me better
If we come together
We'll go down forever
If I had a road trip, I would bring this along and sing along to all the songs.
05 turn on the bright lights INTERPOL
When I'm feeling lazy, it's probably because,
I'm saving all my energy to pick up when you move into my airspace
I only came to love this album after listening to it repeatedly. I love the way every song gels together, the moody depressed atmosphere and how I never got distracted by the lyrics.
04 car wheels on a gravel road LUCINDA WILLIAMS
Blood spilled out from the hole in your heart
Over the strings of your guitar
The worn down places in the wood
That once made you feel so good
Drunken Angel
You're on the other side
This one is quite a travelogue. The songs talk about places like lafayette, nacodoches, greenville, places in the southern states of america full of childhood dreams, drunk lovers, truck stops and broken homes. All in that sexy southern drawl of hers.
03 ok computer RADIOHEAD
I wish that they'd swoop down, in a country lane
Late at night when I'm driving
Take me onboard their beautiful ship, show me the world as I'd love to see it
I'd tell all my friends but they'd never believe me
They'd think that I'd finally lost it completely
I'd show them the stars, and the meaning of life
They'd shut me away, but I'd be alright
Like I said, I would name my daughter astrud, who's not here because compilations are not counted, and I would name my son thom.
02 from the choirgirl hotel TORI AMOS
I am not your senorita
I am not from your tribe
If you want inside of her, well
Boy you better make her a raspberry swirl
This is a work of art. The booklet has pictures of her lying on a photocopy machine and a drawn map of a mountain range. The music is dark, haunting and introspective. And I frequently need dark and haunting music. I think it was her way of coping with her miscarriage. There is also less of the piano here and more electronic techno tweaking, so it still sounds modern to this day.
01 wrecking ball EMMYLOU HARRIS
I walked to the river
And I walked to the rim
I walked through the teeth of the reaper's grin
I walked to you rolled up in wire
To the other side of desire
O where will I be, when that trumpet sounds
Surrounded by daniel lanois' dense soundscape, the way emmylou's voice caresses the words can be described as:
i) a squall gathering intensity out at sea, working up a storm
ii) a gossamer thread on the point of breaking
iii) an ageless wraith lamenting a lifetime of regret
iv) and yes, "a witch coming to terms with her mortality" (straits times)
The best songsmiths are all here: lucinda williams, bob dylan, steve earle, neil young, jimi hendrix, being sung by the best interpreter. I remember it being in the cd changer for more than a year. During which I figured that her voice has the same frequency as my soul. This is what a spiritual journey sounds like.
Why is the sun always hiding when i go to the pool? I swam 40 laps yesterday. Wanted to do 50 but it started to rain heavily on the 38th. I'm figuring how to ever swim 100 laps without getting bored or too tired. I've also been memorising some eason chan cantonese songs. I borrowed a couple of dvds: the office, twin peaks, the spanish apartment, schindler's list and lock stock. I borrowed alex garland's the tesseract and nick cave's and the ass saw the angel. Millie, first few pages very gothic already. But i'm scared of not finishing the shows and the books on time.
I've always wanted to do my own 20 favorite albums of all time in the tradition of nick hornby. But I didn't want to make it sound like boring technical stuff or worse, try to describe the music. So now the list comes with a little anecdote, say, what I was doing at the time I was heavily listening to the cd and the requisite killer lyrics. And no, zhenjin, mariah carey is not in the top 10.
20 oh, inverted world/ chutes too narrow THE SHINS
I think the shins are the catchiest band in the world. In a better world, millions of fans will scream for them like they do for U2.
19 yankee hotel foxtrot WILCO
Was one of those cds I would rush out to buy once it was released. I bought so many cds from borders. I wish bit torrent had come out earlier.
18 electric honey LUSCIOUS JACKSON
In secondary school when we were all too poor to buy many cds, tianyu and I did a cd exchange for our birthdays. I requested for luscious jackson while he wanted whitney houston. I wanted it because 8days described them as 'sexy spice mamas'. That started my buying of cds based on rave reviews and without sampling any of the songs beforehand.
17 stories from the city, stories from the sea PJ HARVEY
It's a new york city album.. it kinds of puts you in the street with all the traffic rushing past and the neon lights of times square flashing, like on the cover.
16 blue JONI MITCHELL
'a case of you' may well be the most perfect love song ever written.
15 pieces of you JEWEL
Of course, it now sounds like precocious poetry. But in sec 1, savage garden and celine dion were ruling the airwaves. And this was like such a breath of fresh air. Ya jack, I still haven't passed you the 2nd album.
14 the bends RADIOHEAD
Strangely, I only bought the cd two years back, but I've been listening to the songs for the longest time. I think this is still the blueprint for a good brit rock album.
13 dear ella DEE DEE BRIDGEWATER
This is a tribute to the great ella fitzgerald and she brings a new flavour to the old songs. She is most formidable on 'stairway to the stars', in which at the end, she sustains a note while the orchestra climaxes behind her, before kicking in the vibrato. Breathtaking.
12 girls can tell/ kill the moonlight SPOON
In a better world, they too would be living like rock stars and selling out stadium shows all over.
11 the miseducation of LAURYN HILL
There are so many crap r&b/rap albums out there. This is not one of them. I hope she has recovered from her crazy phase and give us that sophomore album.
10 tanto tempo BEBEL GILBERTO
I think this is really good mugging music- soothing unobtrusive and in a foreign language.
09 exile in guyville LIZ PHAIR
And the license said you had to stick around until I was dead
But if you're tired of looking at my face, I guess I already am
Way back before she did 'why can't I' and became a total avril wannabe, she actually had smart songs with smart hooks about falling out of love.
08 pinkerton/ the green album WEEZER
I asked you to go to the Green Day concert
You said you never heard of them
-How cool is that?-
Theodore burned them for me.. was frequently in the discman during ns because I needed loud guitars to cheer myself up.
07 bachelor no.2 or the last remains of the dodo AIMEE MANN
Critics at their worst could never criticize
the way that you do
no, there's no one else, I find,
to undermine or dash a hope
quite like you
and you do it so casually, too
She's the master of the 4 minute pop song. Always wise, articulate and resigned. You may know her as the one who did all the songs in magnolia. p.t. anderson says it best, "She writes lines that are so simple and direct, you are convinced that you have either A) heard it before, B) said it before, or even C) thought of it before (but never wrote it down.)"
06 version 2.0 GARBAGE
If we sleep together
Will you like me better
If we come together
We'll go down forever
If I had a road trip, I would bring this along and sing along to all the songs.
05 turn on the bright lights INTERPOL
When I'm feeling lazy, it's probably because,
I'm saving all my energy to pick up when you move into my airspace
I only came to love this album after listening to it repeatedly. I love the way every song gels together, the moody depressed atmosphere and how I never got distracted by the lyrics.
04 car wheels on a gravel road LUCINDA WILLIAMS
Blood spilled out from the hole in your heart
Over the strings of your guitar
The worn down places in the wood
That once made you feel so good
Drunken Angel
You're on the other side
This one is quite a travelogue. The songs talk about places like lafayette, nacodoches, greenville, places in the southern states of america full of childhood dreams, drunk lovers, truck stops and broken homes. All in that sexy southern drawl of hers.
03 ok computer RADIOHEAD
I wish that they'd swoop down, in a country lane
Late at night when I'm driving
Take me onboard their beautiful ship, show me the world as I'd love to see it
I'd tell all my friends but they'd never believe me
They'd think that I'd finally lost it completely
I'd show them the stars, and the meaning of life
They'd shut me away, but I'd be alright
Like I said, I would name my daughter astrud, who's not here because compilations are not counted, and I would name my son thom.
02 from the choirgirl hotel TORI AMOS
I am not your senorita
I am not from your tribe
If you want inside of her, well
Boy you better make her a raspberry swirl
This is a work of art. The booklet has pictures of her lying on a photocopy machine and a drawn map of a mountain range. The music is dark, haunting and introspective. And I frequently need dark and haunting music. I think it was her way of coping with her miscarriage. There is also less of the piano here and more electronic techno tweaking, so it still sounds modern to this day.
01 wrecking ball EMMYLOU HARRIS
I walked to the river
And I walked to the rim
I walked through the teeth of the reaper's grin
I walked to you rolled up in wire
To the other side of desire
O where will I be, when that trumpet sounds
Surrounded by daniel lanois' dense soundscape, the way emmylou's voice caresses the words can be described as:
i) a squall gathering intensity out at sea, working up a storm
ii) a gossamer thread on the point of breaking
iii) an ageless wraith lamenting a lifetime of regret
iv) and yes, "a witch coming to terms with her mortality" (straits times)
The best songsmiths are all here: lucinda williams, bob dylan, steve earle, neil young, jimi hendrix, being sung by the best interpreter. I remember it being in the cd changer for more than a year. During which I figured that her voice has the same frequency as my soul. This is what a spiritual journey sounds like.
4.09.2005
Keyhole is brilliant for bored afternoons.. essentially allows you to view satellite images from mainly the US.. the forum has people who picks up on weird and wonderful places.. like aeroplanes flying in the air or a highway that goes right through a mountain. I went to Vatican City and finally realised how close it was to Rome (I never knew). Here's something strange.. possibly some kind of anchor rig.. but from far it looks like the world's largest jellyfish, if you compare it to the ships.
4.08.2005
"We are all young and beautiful."
So says Kelvin. I think he should go get a blog because he is so hysterically funny. If you're not laughing, well, it's because you don't know the context and you weren't there.
We were talking about time and aging. So deep huh. Anyway I think that when a person gets to his middle ages he will start thinking of time as "ok, I have like 20 years to go." It's so disturbing to be counting down to the day you die, to be thinking that every thing you do may be the last thing you do. But who knows how much time we've got? I'm afraid of dying. I guess having a religion would help a great deal. It provides the comfort of knowing that it doesn't just end at the point of letting your last breath go. So like what Tim McGraw says, live like you were dying.
I barely passed driving. Thanks for the advice guys.. Bingxun for telling me to dress up, Daniel for telling me to change the attitude, Lawrence for telling me to say "yes sir!".. I only said that once though, it sounded so weird.. and everyone who wished me good luck.
The Diana Krall concert was great. I was expecting an intimate concert but it turned to be quite large scale. Couldn't see her very well either, being almost 100m away from the stage. Sadly, I wasn't pro enough to appreciate the piano work.. I only knew that one of the songs sampled a bossa nova standard.. apparently all the intros included tunes from other songs. I did finally get the double bass. It came to an end all too quickly.
HIGHs: "Bless you" to a woman who sneezed; fantastically showy drum solos; a weird song about big toes; "temptation"; that icy cool voice; large video screens.
LOWs: No cover of "a case of you"; stuffing myself on a brownie afterwards.
So says Kelvin. I think he should go get a blog because he is so hysterically funny. If you're not laughing, well, it's because you don't know the context and you weren't there.
We were talking about time and aging. So deep huh. Anyway I think that when a person gets to his middle ages he will start thinking of time as "ok, I have like 20 years to go." It's so disturbing to be counting down to the day you die, to be thinking that every thing you do may be the last thing you do. But who knows how much time we've got? I'm afraid of dying. I guess having a religion would help a great deal. It provides the comfort of knowing that it doesn't just end at the point of letting your last breath go. So like what Tim McGraw says, live like you were dying.
I barely passed driving. Thanks for the advice guys.. Bingxun for telling me to dress up, Daniel for telling me to change the attitude, Lawrence for telling me to say "yes sir!".. I only said that once though, it sounded so weird.. and everyone who wished me good luck.
The Diana Krall concert was great. I was expecting an intimate concert but it turned to be quite large scale. Couldn't see her very well either, being almost 100m away from the stage. Sadly, I wasn't pro enough to appreciate the piano work.. I only knew that one of the songs sampled a bossa nova standard.. apparently all the intros included tunes from other songs. I did finally get the double bass. It came to an end all too quickly.
HIGHs: "Bless you" to a woman who sneezed; fantastically showy drum solos; a weird song about big toes; "temptation"; that icy cool voice; large video screens.
LOWs: No cover of "a case of you"; stuffing myself on a brownie afterwards.
4.04.2005
a lousy post, actually..
chee wei, wake up your idea!
i seriously think it's going to rain during my driving test on friday.
to 8 days: time to get creative man, no use featuring wong li lin on every other issue. also, enough of sharon au, joanne peh and zoe tay's baby.
things to look forward to:
diana krall concert on wed.. if it's not good, i'm gonna kill myself, seeing how i've missed bebel gilberto, shirley horn and kd lang because i've spent a bomb on this week's concert. like nearly 120 bucks. it will probably be a shitty seat.
getting back on the job market after dsta said there was no available project..
"i feel so sorry for uma thurman. if she doesn't has a hit soon, she's going back to the b-list." boy, do i love my quotes.
out of intense boredom, i made a quiz. Take my Quiz! and then Check out the Scoreboard!
chee wei, wake up your idea!
i seriously think it's going to rain during my driving test on friday.
to 8 days: time to get creative man, no use featuring wong li lin on every other issue. also, enough of sharon au, joanne peh and zoe tay's baby.
things to look forward to:
diana krall concert on wed.. if it's not good, i'm gonna kill myself, seeing how i've missed bebel gilberto, shirley horn and kd lang because i've spent a bomb on this week's concert. like nearly 120 bucks. it will probably be a shitty seat.
getting back on the job market after dsta said there was no available project..
"i feel so sorry for uma thurman. if she doesn't has a hit soon, she's going back to the b-list." boy, do i love my quotes.
out of intense boredom, i made a quiz. Take my Quiz! and then Check out the Scoreboard!
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