it's finally december. the last month of the year usually means holidays, sales, and that another year has passed. it is also fraught with anticipation of the new year, the nagging feeling that you have wasted another year doing nothing, thinking about what you have actually accomplished (nothing) and whether you have met any of your new year resolutions (can't remember). i'm telling you this because i feel that i'm growing old too fast. before i know it, i'll be a work-slave and nothing would have changed. i will still dread going to work on monday, hang out late on friday nights, spend too much money and have no purpose in life. and december will come again and again to smack me in the face and remind me that time is running out.

brilliant idea #1: i could take a picture of my face every week and do that for about 20 years and get 20X52= 1040 portraits and then sequence them in time and make a movie and at a rate of 5 shots a sec i could watch 20 years of my life fly by in 208 seconds. of course this raises the question of whether i can sustain this for so long and why haven't i thought of this earlier, like say, when i was 5 years old so i can end the project at 25. if i had a child i could do this from the day he's born but that would probably end up giving him a scarred and traumatic childhood. and also the fact that if i use my digital camera the jpeg format will likely be obsolete in 20 years time. there is also this photographer michael wesely who takes long exposure photos, sometimes running up to 3 years. what he comes up with are those ghostly shots where everything is all semi translucent and only the stationary remain.

brilliant idea #2: you have a clothing store and you enter the store through a mirrored tunnel. on both sides of the tunnel there are the changing rooms, from which one can look out. it's like reverse voyeurism, kind of like the roadside toilet made of one-way mirrors that somebody built in some country. what makes it fun is that people can pretend to stare and they wouldn't know what they're staring at.

i'm having the irritating post-outfield hand itch. going outfield is truly a cathartic experience. basically all you ask is "what am i doing here", or "when will this thing end". your body feels like a piece of shit, your hair has ants in it, your skin is desecrated by mosquito bites, your uniform is perpetually covered with a layer of sand, you smell dank but everyone smells the same so you can't smell it, your boots have been soaked in muddy water and your brain is half asleep but you have to keep your eyes open. oh by the way F.K. is a certified idiot; he obviously doesn't know that right begins with the letter R.

every morning when i wake up the first 3 thoughts that run through my mind are:
in this particular order,
- is anyone else awake? (raises head to scan the bunk)
- what's the bloody time?
- what's the point?

i like burning cds for people. it allows me to a) choose songs based on a theme from my back catalogue of mp3s b) congratulate myself on having so many mp3s to choose from c) delve into the person's psyche and think of what he/she may like d) discover songs that i don't recall ever hearing.
there is a chinese singer sandee chan who is supposedly the queen of the chinese indie scene and her reviews have been very promising (they compare her to portishead). might just move me into buying my 4th chinese cd. i love 同类 by 燕姿 because there is this line which goes 我拉住时间 它却不理会 有没有别人 跟我一样很想被安慰. i can really identify with that but so do many other people i guess. if you can't see the chinese, change the encoding.