so i went to chinablack last night and here's my top ten tips in order to be a respectable dj.

ingredients: a room, lights, alcohol, a too-loud sound system, people willing to shake their booty, big bad bouncers and 1 or 2 hot chicks for good measure.

the recipe:
1. kylie's a dancefloor favourite, so do yourself a favour, play one of her songs every hour, 'in your eyes' is recommended.

2. for guarenteed sing-alongs, play linkin park's 'in the end'. it never fails to get people lip synching and jumping around like they're in the mosh pit.

3. dig up some old classics, like run dmc's 'it's like that' or tori amos' 'professional widow' just so that the older folks won't be left out of the party..

4. for said chicks to do the boogie, try madison avenue's 'don't call me baby' or say, 'i'm horny', because if one keeps chanting 'i'm so horny' one may actually start to believe it's true.

5. if all else fails and things aren't going so well, spin 'get the party started'.

6. of course, do not forget the r&b hits of recent times, y'know, even if you don't know what they're rapping about, but it's sure cool cuz they say 'motherf---in' a lot.

7. play the same song twice, like say 'i see you baby, shaking that ass'. but cut the second time short before people get annoyed.

8. but if you want them to sing-along and wave their hands like the 70s never left (see 2.), put on 'can't take my eyes of you'. turn the sound down at 'i love you baby!' so that clubbers may shout their lungs out and get sore throats.

9. a dash of retro never hurts.

10. if the police decides to visit the joint, turn on the lights, tell everyone that 'the cops are here to do a routine spot check' and so 'chill, man, chill'.