so here's another trip into my subconscious.
my hair's a mess, my face is peeling and my lane changing still cannot make it. i can never tell when it's safe to edge my way into the neighbouring lane. the instructor said that traffic is like flowing water and i'm a stone that's thrown inside.
temporary work brings along with it temporary acquaintances. when i first meet new people, i immediately classify them into more chinese or more english people. with the chinese people, i can only manage what passes off as normal conversation. i've got a penchant for meeting people who think they're really funny. or maybe i just don't get the jokes. their first impressions of myself are always wrong. they can never remember my name.
when i was a kid and had fever, i had four recurring nightmares. 1) i'm stuck in a multi-faced structure and the sides are garish coloured plexiglass. 2) picture a cable car system where the cable cars are bundles of cloth carrying pelicans. i'm turning the wheels and fetching them back and forth in an endless cycle. 3) there's a huge land mass and i'm looking down from a bird's eye view. then, a fire starts spreading from one end, devouring towns and animals. it sweeps across the land as i watch in helpless terror. the last time i had it was in sec3 orientation camp. 4) i'm adding or multiplying a number to itself until it becomes more than a hundred digits long and my brain just can't take it. then i wake up and i stumble to my mother, who's in the kitchen, and i'm still half in the nightmare and half conscious, and i have to collapse on the floor.
now that i've grown up, my fears are even weirder. i'm afraid of being in the ocean and swimming and bumping into a really large fish. like a barracuda or an oarfish. or the rough skin of a whale shark, or heaven forbid, a giant squid. and because it's all dark, i can't see until it's too late. even the 2 feet long carp at the fullerton hotel pool creeps the hell out of me.
i can't find a nice affordable wallet. perhaps i need to make my own duct tape wallet. instructions found here.
as i demonstrate looking preppy and looking like an idiot.
exhibit A
exhibit B
according to style.com, the biggest thing this fall would be cardigan, texture, plaids and more plaids.
hot on the heels of $1000000baby, aimee mann has a new concept album about a boxer. it's called the forgotten arm, which is supposed to be a boxing move. she's actually been boxing for a year. other exciting new releases- garbage, yo la tengo, sleater kinney, beck.
after 6 episodes of lost, my biggest questions are: what crime did kate commit? is there a dinosaur on the island? when will the pregnant girl give birth? when will someone start making out with another person?
david foster wallace - "I have a truly horrible dream... I am attempting to stimulate the clitoris of Queen Victoria with the back of a tortoise-shell hairbrush. Her voluminous skirts swirl around her waist and my shoulders, spill out in front of my sweating face. The clanking of pounds of jewelry is heard as she shifts to offer herself at best advantage. There are odours. The Queen's impatient breathing is thunder above me as I kneel at the throne. Time passes. Finally her voice is heard, overhead, metalled with disgust and frustration: "We are not aroused." I am punched in the arm by a guard and flung into a pit at the bottom of which boil the figures of countless mice. I awake with a mouth full of fur. Begging for more time. A ribbed brush."
that sounded familiar. in one of my less perverse fantasies, i am a tribal king, sitting on my throne that is half submerged in rose scented milk. the hall is lit by fire. a line of olive women enter, holding their breasts up like offerings to the pagan gods. they kneel before me. and then i ask them to enter the pool and all i see is lips, legs, ...
time for night cycling!
