Usually, when you don't see any new post for a long period of time, it means that something super long and whiny is coming up.

But not this time.

Ok, I admit it, I need a relationship. I used to think that people get attached because society dictates so or to have an emotional anchor (the twisted ideas I have), but now I'm beginning to realise that this desire to pair up is something of an innate biological function.

And I'm not looking for reassurances here.

I'm starting my internship next week. But I shall not talk about it because we all know what trouble blogging about work can get you into. Just read the papers. Anyway, the job scope isn't all that I hoped it would be but then I do get a notebook to hog around. And for a minute there I thought they were talking about the paper kind. I haven't told them I'm going to phuket on a friday yet.

I think that I'm a man/boy pretty much driven by my fears. The fear of getting left behind or "losing out" to other people led me to ask for an internship. The fear of not living up to my own perception of what a successful person is about is one major factor of my life. I'm afraid of handling sickness and death around me, but there's nowhere to run to.

I'm a horrible person.